I have an addictive personality, I have a history of getting really obsessed with something, then quickly losing interest in it within a matter of weeks. And when I get turned on to something, I go all out, become extremely frivolous and purchase everything that I can think of that is related to my new obsession. I have started multiple craft projects, I bags of scrapbooking stickers, pages and stamps. I have bags of photo paper, and a wireless printer that has special apps on it for photography, I got a touchscreen desktop and enrolled in school to become a graphic designer specializing in photography, I got the school's craft kit, Adobe Master Suite Collection 5.5, and a $6K student loan- I dropped out after the second quarter, sold the computer, and the rest of the items are sitting in a box in my dining room. When I first found God I got this obsession again, I decided that I must read bible, but that in order to do that I had to purchase and buy about 20 books related to the bible, as well as check out 30 or so more on Christian life and being a Christian. (I have yet to complete a single book, started quite a few though) I downloaded the Bible app and started 3 different reading plans, I am behind on every single one. I bought all the worship songs and albums that I knew, I started 2 different bible studies. I downloaded 50+ sermon podcasts and sermon videos. Then I prayed and prayed that God wouldn't let this be just a phase, like everything else. I set out to get closer to God, to walk with Him and grow in my relationship with Jesus. To let Christ be in charge of my life and to follow Him, for my heart to be changed by the Holy Spirit. I thought I had to approach this like a hobby, like it was something learned, like I had to earn my salvation and learn how to "be" Christian. I set out to do it on my own, negating the cross, because I didn't know any different. God is patient and requires one thing only- to ask Him to forgive our sins, to ask Him to come into our hearts and to believe and proclaim that Jesus is His son, Jesus died on the cross for our sins and rose from grave and lives in heaven. That is what you have to do for your salvation, then God begins changing you, and it's awesome.
            I am not a recovering drug addict, mother of 2 and fiancé to an amazing man because of my own works, because when I try to do things in my life it generally fails or fades out. But God did what I asked of Him, He gave me His grace and forgiveness and His Spirit and slowly but surely I am being made new. My desires are changing, I may not have finished any of the books but I have read more of the bible now than I have ever read before and I am hungry to read more. The bible is God's words to us, I heard the pastor at my church call the bible "God's love letter to His church". My heart loves God more than it ever has before, I desire to please Him and I realize that my sins hurt Him also. I am different, I am better, because of God. Thank you Jesus for making me new and continuing to bless me, love me and lead me! In Jesus name, Amen.